[He doesn't sound like it. He sounds flat, serious but not really invested. Which is a good sign that it's very true.]
But the only thing worse than being replaced because I decided to face it would be eating myself alive in slow paranoia spirals never knowing whether some buried trigger was about to replace me, or had already reshaped me so subtly -
I am. Attempting precautions. Reading you in for the Auguries Will was going to be the next step.
We haven't done it yet. I'm getting my chickens in a row.
[The request he sends as text; may as well make it easy to repeat verbatim.]
Is the admiral capable of and willing to restore my memories of everything I've been made to forget?
[Not everything he's forgotten. The vast majority of that is darkness, and lost for the thin thread of his own sanity. And not to undo all tampering. Just - to know. Just to know what's gone, to see what's been hidden. But Jedao more than anyone knows how much that can change.]
voice
I'm fucking terrified.
[He doesn't sound like it. He sounds flat, serious but not really invested. Which is a good sign that it's very true.]
But the only thing worse than being replaced because I decided to face it would be eating myself alive in slow paranoia spirals never knowing whether some buried trigger was about to replace me, or had already reshaped me so subtly -
I am. Attempting precautions. Reading you in for the Auguries Will was going to be the next step.
[And he gives Holden access to this conversation.]
We haven't done it yet. I'm getting my chickens in a row.
[The request he sends as text; may as well make it easy to repeat verbatim.]
Is the admiral capable of and willing to restore my memories of everything I've been made to forget?
[Not everything he's forgotten. The vast majority of that is darkness, and lost for the thin thread of his own sanity. And not to undo all tampering. Just - to know. Just to know what's gone, to see what's been hidden. But Jedao more than anyone knows how much that can change.]