[ Holden had been joking, but he suddenly isn't -- the same way all anger tends to come on him, too sudden to stop. ]
Look, I wouldn't want to go either, okay? I admit it. Difference is, I know why, and it's cause I'm scared to look too close at the things I've done, and I'm defensive, and I'm scared of pausing to breathe, because the second I get back out there, I'm not going to have that breathing space anymore.
So, there, I admitted mine, now will you stop shutting down on me?
no subject
[ Holden had been joking, but he suddenly isn't -- the same way all anger tends to come on him, too sudden to stop. ]
Look, I wouldn't want to go either, okay? I admit it. Difference is, I know why, and it's cause I'm scared to look too close at the things I've done, and I'm defensive, and I'm scared of pausing to breathe, because the second I get back out there, I'm not going to have that breathing space anymore.
So, there, I admitted mine, now will you stop shutting down on me?